From the event link:
New York SantaCon |
A lost elf wandered by and handed me a personal message from Santa himself... Please print these rules and carols with you, there will be a test
That's right kids, it's that time again. SantaCon is coming!!! I've seen the pics from the last few years and have to say, Yall do it right!!!! Just to remind everyone, I have listed the rules for SantaC...on again. There is no Santa in charge to call. If you can't show up for the start, get the phone number of
...someone who can help you catch up later.
Wilmington, NC SantaCon |
1. AGAIN! Santa does not make children cry. Really - If you see kids, give them nice toys, candy, or something pleasant. Parents and Tourists are a different matter altogether -- adjust based on their
attitude.
2. Santa dresses for all occasions. It's December. Smart Santa's wear multiple costume layers. Dress to maximize merriment whether singing Christmas carols in the snow, or swinging from a stripper pole.
New York SantaCon |
3. Santa doesn't whine! We will be outside alot and commuting mainly on foot -- bring enough "snacks" to keep your pie-hole filled until we get indoors.
4. Bring gifts -- NAUGHTY gifts to give grown ups; NICE stuff to give kids. Throwing coal at people is discouraged no matter who they are. YES THAT INCLUDES POLITICIANS. But giving out coal is always ok.
Paris (FRANCE) SantaCon |
6. Pay for your Beer and tip the bar staff, we want to be able to this again. Bribery gets you everywhere! Also pay for your beer or drink as soon as you get it. Other Santa's get tired of waiting on Santa's to
clear their tab before being able to move on. This entire adventure should be CASH ONLY. Credit Cards only take longer and it takes long enough to serve all of yall when we rush the bar.
Atlanta SantaCon |
7. No Santa's left behind. Don't go leaving one or two Santa's in the process. Santa dont like that. Pick a few people you know and keep an eye out for them when it's time to move to the next location. If you don't see them, speak up so everyone waits. Every Santa should have at least 2-3 other Santa's they look out for and that look out for them.
We don't want to leave someone in the shitter and have them wandering around looking for us. Santa is safer in numbers. What one Santa couldn't get away with without getting questioned, 50 can. Stick
together Santa's!
London (UK) SantaCon |
8. Memorize these answers to important questions that may arise:
* Who's in charge? "Santa"
Denver SantaCon |
* What organization are you with? "Santa"
* What are you protesting? "Nothing, Santa's having a party" (note: WE ARE NOT PROTESTERS!! We'd need a permit for that - and something
serious to complain about...)
* How did you get here? "A sleigh and eight tiny reindeer"
* Where are you going next? "I'm only allowed to tell you if you wear this hat and buy me a beer."
Los Angeles SantaCon |
9. Dress the hell up! You don't have to dress as Santa proper. That's BORING! Variations of Santa-ness are deeply appreciated, both by those
we bring joy to - as well as the other Santarchists! Variants of elves or reindeer or what-have-you are fine as well!
Chicago SantaCon |
10. "No blows below the belt. Keep it clean."
11. Please realize that this indeed is an event to have a hell of a lot of fun, and of course, with the assistance of liquor. It's not, however, an event to get shit-faced to the point that Santa's end up
insulting, fighting, degrading, or being assholes to people that run the places that we visit - or to the regular patrons that are there. Remember, we're LUCKY that they let THIS many jackasses into their
places of business - and we'd like to keep coming back. Also, there is no "bail fund" for incarcerated Santii - so you'll be on your own with that, suckahs.
Los Angeles SantaCon |
12. Santa's that drink should make sure that they are also Santa's that can drive home, or make arrangements so that they don't need to.
This is a no-brainer, but alas, I feel it needs to be said. I don't want any casualties. We need as many soldiers for "return tours", so to speak. With mass transit being what it is in Atlanta, we suggest
bringing a designated driver and of course carpooling as much as possible or just get a hotel room. The more Santii in each vehicle, the fewer individuals need to remain dry.
Paris (FRANCE) SantaCon |
* address every Santa as Santa, in the first, second, and third person, singular and plural.
* DO have something ready to hand out, even if it's just candy canes.
* DO many thorough soaks of your cleaning product containers before storing liquor in them. (If you haven't already done so, it may be too late to start now.) Santa's that want should bring flasks cleverly disguised as pine-sol or windex bottles.
New York SantaCon |
New York SantaCon |
* DO uphold the hallowed tradition of Never Washing the Suit.
Merry Fucking Christmas! And always remember Santa says, "Spread your Red!!!"
~~ Santa
Beijing (CHINA) SantaCon |
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